What We Resist, Persists & The Solution

I've uncovered and learned about an interesting paradox this week, and I feel compelled to write a little about it.

For some reason, when we have emotions, especially emotions that we do not want to have, we think that if we fight those emotions, that they will just melt away. For example, let's say that you feel depressed about something you feel is going wrong in your life. And let us say that this feeling has made you upset, and it hurts, it hurts real bad. At some point we have all been there.

Usually, at some point we start to think, "Hey, I don't want to be feeling this crappy anymore." And so we try to fight it off, fight off the negativity, fight off the depression, fight off the upset. We fight as hard as possible to make this pain go away.

However, the war we are waging cannot be won. "What we resist, persists."

Thus, we try to ward off the upset, the hurt, the pain, and in the end we fare no better then before.

But this is where the new teaching comes in. I know this might seem like a paradox, and it is, but if we could just allow ourselves to welcome the feeling, the emotion, then it's much easier to let go. If we just allow the feeling, give ourselves permission to feel what we are feeling, then we can better let go of the feeling.

Because at the end of the day, you are not your feelings. When you say "I am sad," that's not really true. You aren't sad, but you FEEL sad. You are not your emotions. And if you are not your emotions then you can let them go and feel better. But we can't let go of our emotions until we welcome them, until we accept them.

And so, when you are feeling something, no matter what it is, grief, anger, resistance, or just plain numbness, and you think you want to move on, then before you do anything - accept it. Accept the feeling. Accept the grief, the pain, the resistance. Welcome it. And once you welcome it, then you can finally start the process of letting it go.

I learned these ideas from a great book - The Sedona Method. I highly encourage you to read it. But even if you never read a word of it, just know that you are not your emotions. And if you accept them, embrace them, welcome them, then you can fully let them go. For good.