The Importance of Living Life According to Our Values

I had a very interesting conversation with a good friend over the weekend. We were talking about whether there is an objective "right" and "wrong" or "good" and "bad" in this world, and the pitfalls of thinking either way.

On the one hand, if there is an objective right and wrong, then the temptation to judge exists if we see someone doing the objectively wrong thing. But optimists (or aspiring optimists) know it's so important not to judge your fellow person, for judging represents the way we separate ourselves from one another and create more discord. It's what separates you from your core self, or as my friend might say, separates you from "The Source."

But on the other hand, sometimes it's helpful for us to have some sense of what we should and should not do, and there are positive benefits to an objective right and wrong. That way we know we are on the right track.

Is there a middle ground?

All of this led me to think about values. Values are those innate principles that are inherently a part of you. Paradoxically, you actually choose which values you want to align yourself with - but often they feel so natural it seems like you never had to choose anything to begin with. Values represent an internal guide book, so to speak.

Usually we choose our values from life experience, friends and family, religion (a big one if you are religious) and your internal sense of why you are here in the first place. Examples of values are honesty, service, loyalty, and independence. Even something like spontaneity might be a value you cherish, and hence, if you are not living a relatively spontaneous life you might feel an unknown sense of restlessness or loss.

But the point of all of this is that there are values that you choose to live by, and when you are not living your life according to your values, something just feels off. But when you are living your life in accordance with your values - you are at your happiest self. You're in line with your highest frequency, and life truly is amazing.

Back to judging good and bad. Maybe, just maybe, each one of us has our own version of good and bad based on the values we choose for ourselves. A subjective right/good and wrong/bad. If we are in line with our values, then we are doing the right thing. If we are doing something that is inconsistent with our values, then we are doing the "wrong" thing for us. But the wrong thing for you isn't necessarily the wrong thing for me. That's where judging comes in.

Judging yourself realistically (without being too mean to yourself) based on your chosen values can be helpful. It ensures that you are living the life you know you deserve. When you see/feel/know that things are a little off, you evaluate whether you are living life according to your values and you can change your actions if you so wish.

Either way - there is a good and bad that is your good and bad based upon living according to the values you have chosen for yourself.

For example, let's say you regard family as a value. And let us say that you forget to call your mom on Mother's day. Well, if family is a value for you, then not calling your mother is bad, or perhaps the wrong thing to do (or not do as the case may be) - for you. But, let's say that family is not an important value for me. Then calling my mother on Mother's day would not be bad for me.

Thus we see that it is possible for us to have a sense of right and wrong or good and bad based on living life according to our values. And we also see how important it is to live life according to our values. When we do, life is truly magical and we have an inner sense of peace, calm, and happiness.

Perhaps then the most important question to ask yourself is this: Do I know what my values are? Because how can we live our lives according to our values and do what's good for us if we don't even know what our values are in the first place?

If we can:

(1) Spend some time figuring out the values we have innately chosen to live by; and
(2) Live our lives according to them -

Then we can sit back and watch the magic begin. Happiness is not too far behind!